What I thought was going to be a passion topic of kids bullying kids in school and strategies to stop it, morphed into an amazingly complicated, detailed, scientifically analyzed, world-wide movement to ridiculously overcomplicate an element typical of the human condition. We’re all born with an inclination to be selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, pinheads with a tendency toward pigheadedness, a bloated sense of self-importance, and a desire to be in control of everything we see. We don’t want to share our toys either.
My first discovery regarding the scope of this issue came from the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). This American organization referred to the federal site entitled www.stopbullying.gov. The fact that there is a federal site is what surprised me. But enough of my surprises for now. Let’s compare and contrast what these and other organizations have to say regarding kids bullying kids in school. Then let’s see if I am able to simplify things a bit. At that point, a piece of my personal faith will become an element of consideration. Don’t freak out. These national and international studies talk about that too. An article from Ireland, (O’Moore, 2004), refers to the need to consider a student’s relative background by posing the question of “the role of religion and religious schools.”
Continuing with our discussion, and starting with the youngest ages, birth to 8, the NAEYC site has a post presenting evidence that bullies tend to have stronger social networks and victims, henceforth survivors, are more isolated and vulnerable. My new discovery element was the assertion that bullies enjoy higher peer status and a larger social network, (Snow, 2014). I challenge the claim that a bully enjoys a higher peer status as I interpret that phrase. Peer status equates to respect and enjoying someone’s company. A bully may have a larger social network but that does not rise to the level of friendship. My professional observations of students are that the bully’s larger circle of friends does not produce a truly loyal fan base; more like fair weather friends, actually. Students who run in the bully’s crowd are fearful of becoming victims themselves. Also, many if not all of the these kids seem to lack the kind of self-confidence needed to reduce the severity of the bully experience. Supporting evidence for my argument is simple. When we teachers are able to catch the bully in the act and, therefore, stop the aggression, all his or her alleged friends immediately throw their pack leader “under the bus.” No signs of true friendship and loyalty are exhibited. Yes, these others fear getting into trouble, but really, detention is no real deterrent for behavior issues and everybody still gets to go on the field trips.
Bullying concerns of older children are addressed in various, scientific research articles. It is with these extensive, most likely expensive, and in-depth studies that I found myself getting bogged down in the weeds and anxiously looking for a way out. I wanted nuggets of gold from which I could purchase immediate plans of action to stop the cycle of violence in all its forms. In one, (O’Moore, 2004), we are told to trust the development of a national plan of action and to follow the guiding principles of the World Health Organization, collect data, consider the many areas of potential research on the topic, figure out how to define bullying, the relationship between sports and bullying, that researchers are needed from various community and government levels, to use meta evaluations procedures, create a design team, and to have a whole school approach. I’m exhausted. The list is not complete and I still don’t know how to stop bullying.
I’m sure there is merit in all the above mentioned elements but while I’m trying to figure out what “meta evaluations” are, children are committing bully-induced suicide. I also don’t want to be a complete Negative Nelly regarding these extensive research papers because, after all, someone put her heart into this work. Therefore, I must present what O’Moore means by the whole school approach in our bid to wipe out bullying. It’s pretty basic and I hope common place. It is a concerted effort by all involved to have an intentional environment of positive interaction between teachers, students and parents underpinned by mutual respect, trust, caring, and support. We have to accept each other in our differences and teach our children to do the same, (O’Moore, 2004).
The most helpful resource I found regarding bullying and what to do about it came from a blog post by Franklin Schargel. His no nonsense, matter of fact approach and clear, helpful guidelines are exactly the kinds of things I was looking for when I started this odyssey. He reminds the reader of the old jingle, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” and then refutes the jingle’s message by reminding us of 12-year-old, 7th grader, Rebecca Sedwick. She committed suicide after enduring 1.5 years of cyber bullying (2014). As in other sources studied, Schargel also reminds us that most incidents of bullying take place in less supervised locations such as the playground, school bus, and bathrooms. Concrete solutions offered include closed circuit cameras where possible, anonymous reporting tools, and bullying hotlines in case of emergencies like real time text messages to designated school personnel. An emergency text message may be an option for older student populations but cell phones are not allowed in all schools. In this instance, perhaps some sort of anonymous campus mail box into which students can drop hand written notes as needed.
All sources cited here, and others, laid claim to the problem of children being exposed to violence in the homes either through television programming or, worse, domestic violence. Exposure of this sort is a clear pathway to violence and bullying in the classrooms.
And lest we forget, bullying, just like domestic violence, presents itself in its worst form not as physical but as verbal assault on the heart and mind of its victims/survivors. A broken bone will heal. A broken spirit just dies. No one physically hurt teenagers Rebecca Sedwick, Ryan Halligan, Megan Meier, Jessica Logan, Hope Witsell, Tyler Clementi, and Amanda Todd. But they are all dead. Suicide induced by cyberbullying. (“The Top Six Unforgettable Cyberbullying Cases Ever,” 2017).
Words hurt. Words kill. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” And there it is. My faith element. I just quoted Proverbs 18:21. My faith informs and nurtures everything I am. It is my worldview.
A bully of my personal acquaintance, a university professor from North Carolina, once shouted across a crowded room to me, while we were in a professional training session, that he tells his students, “If they EVER quote the Bible on any of their papers he will AUTOMATICALLY fail them for LACK of academic integrity!!” The training session in which we were participants asked us, the gathered professionals, to discuss why so many of our students cheat on their assignments and why they don’t think this behavior is wrong. I suggested one possible element being overlooked in the entire conversation was how one’s cultural environment, social mores, and religious background might affect a person’s interpretation of how to approach the world. Not being a fool and aware of the sensitivities of 21st century America, I very carefully and clearly articulated that my use of the phrase “religious background” was intended as an umbrella expression to cover all religious expressions of the world. The words Bible and Christianity never parted my lips and I did not have any idea who that professor was, nor he me. Why is this important to bring up now? Because I, as an adult, was bullied by another adult in a professional setting of our peers. Others who believed my question legitimate were shouted down into silent submission. The group leaders shut down the entire event.
How can we end bullying in our schools and among our children if we can’t even end it amongst ourselves?
References:
O’Moore, Mona. (2004). A Guiding Framework for Policy Approaches to School Bullying & Violence. Retrieved from https://www.oecd.org/ireland/33866844.pdf
Snow, Kyle. (2014). Bullying in Early Childhood. Retrieved from http://www.naeyc.org/blogs/bullying-early-childhood
Schargel, Franklin. (2014). Bullying: What Schools, Parents and Students Can Do. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/franklin-schargel/bullying-what-schools-par_b_4103901.html
NoBullying.Com. (2017, March 27), The Top Six Unforgettable Cyberbullying Cases Ever. Retrieved from https://nobullying.com/six-unforgettable-cyber-bullying-cases/
Teach-Now Roxann 